


The Past Still Stings

by complicated_catra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Post-Episode: S05E13 Heart (part 2)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/complicated_catra/pseuds/complicated_catra
Summary: After the defeat of Horde Prime, everyone is rebuilding. But Catra still struggles with being a good person and fears being abandoned. When Scorpia blows off their plans to meet up over and over, Catra confronts her and discovers Scorpia has anxiety about meeting up with Catra because of how much Catra hurt her. Catra becomes defensive and says things she shouldn't. With Bow's help, Catra realizes that saying sorry doesn't always make the past go away--you have to keep saying sorry with words and deeds, and people can't help if the scars you caused still hurt. Catra proves to Scorpia that she can grow and be a better friend, and learns a lot about herself in the process. They're finally able to meet up together, and even though Catra knows that growing can be painful, it's worth it for this moment of happiness with her friend.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Scorpia (She-Ra) (platonic)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	The Past Still Stings

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting on AO3. If there's anything I can do to improve reading, any tags I'm missing, please let me know! Hope y'all like this even a fraction as much as I love this incredible show ^_^

It was happening again. Adora was leaving her.

"Please, let me come with you," Catra shouted. "Why are you acting like this again?" She was so angry and so scared. She couldn't even remember exactly where Adora was supposed to be going, or why. Was it Horde Prime again? Maybe that was it. He'd come back somehow.

"I don't need you anymore," Adora said. Her voice sounded far away. She was in new-She-Ra form. Why couldn't she tell her this as Adora, why did she have to be She-Ra?

"How can you say that?" Catra could hear the pleading in her voice, and it made her want to break things and scratch people. She wasn't supposed to do that anymore. She'd been working on it with Perfuma. But without Adora, why bother? "I thought we were happy. I... I was happy. Aren't you?"

"I don't need you anymore," Adora said again. Then she turned and started walking away.

"Wait!" Catra shouted, and tried to chase after her, down on all fours, using her claws to get better purchase on the ground. But her arms and legs seemed to weigh so much. As if some kind of First Ones tech was pulling them down. The harder she struggled, the further Adora seemed to get.

"Wait... please..."

"I don't need you anymore."

Catra woke with a hiss. She slashed out with a claw before she even consciously realized someone was shaking her. The claw slashed through empty air.

"Catra! You were having a bad dream!"

It was Adora's voice. It was Adora. Here, in bed, by her side. She wasn't abandoning her again. It was just a dream.

Slowly, slowly her back straightened from its arch and her fur settled back down. Her tail was still a poof, though. She was going to have to smooth it down.

"Back with me now?" Adora asked. Her hair was a mess, there were indentations in her cheek from the pillow, and she'd managed to drool on herself. She was so cute and so perfect.

"Just trying to keep you on your toes, Adora," Catra said. She loved saying Adora's name. "Don't want you going soft just because there's no more horde."

"Liar. You were talking in your sleep again." She scrunched up her face and mimicked Catra's voice. Badly. "Oooh, Adora, don't leaaave me."

"I did not!" Catra hissed. She swiped at Adora again, but this time Adora caught her hand pinned it up above Catra's head. Her face was so close, and she was smiling.

"Come on, you know I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

"You should, I'm great," Catra said, mustering more confidence than she felt. She kissed Adora to cover it up.

A little while later Catra lay in the crook of Adora's body, purring loudly. Adora was already snoring. This was everything she'd ever wanted. Just this, forever and ever. So why did her dreams keep ambushing her like this? It was worse than all those times Sparkles appeared behind her out of nowhere.

Why couldn't she just be this happy all the time? Why did she feel so sad sometimes?

* * *

Perfuma called it "coffee" and everyone on Etheria was suddenly obsessed with it. 

Perfuma had found a single seedling on Horde Prime's ship--currently in the process of being retrofitted for its mission of spreading intergalactic peace and magic by Entrata and Hordak--as part of Horde Prime's conquered worlds trophy room, and had brought it back to life using a not-inconsiderable amount of post-Full Power Etheria magic.

It took even longer for Perfuma to discover why Horde Prime had chosen to keep this strange-smelling plant. The beans could be ground up to make the most incredible drink. Sometimes bitter and nutty, sometimes soft and floral, it made you feel great and stay awake when you needed to.

Well, for most people. Sparkles had started teleporting uncontrollably when she'd tried it, to Catra's infinite amusement.

Entrapta, meanwhile, drank a special super-concentrated version she'd invented. It had to be concentrated so she could drink it out of tiny cups.

Everyone was having fun trying out new recipes. Small shops had sprouted up all over Etheria. The one in Erlandia was supposed to be particularly great, and supposedly they had a new way of preparing it. Something about frothy milk?

It seemed like the kind of thing Scorpia would like. And Catra hadn't seen Scorpia for weeks. Everyone was just so busy rebuilding, resettling, educating the Horde Clones, prepping the Treeship, hunting down rogue bots, bringing original-Horde soldiers that couldn't quite grasp that the war was over back into society--or to justice. And Scorpia was a Princess now. She had duties and obligations and a lot of new friends that Perfuma said Catra had to work on not being jealous of. She had all of the Fright Zone to rebuild. And of course she had Perfuma now.

But this was going to be just Catra and Scopria time. Two whole hours set aside for a real hangout, not just a quick wave and a crushing hug as they walked past each other in the halls of Brightmoon.

Catra never would have admitted it, but she couldn't wait.

Not that not-admitting things helped anymore. Adora always saw right through her now. It was one of those annoying things Adora did that kind of also made her great.

_Catra... you're a bad friend._

The words echoed in Catra's mind as she guided the skiff between trees and avoided the newly-awakened and not-always-safe magical creatures that once more made Etheria home. "But I'm a good friend now," Catra whispered to herself.

_Bzzzz! Bzzzz!_

Catra fumbled for the communicator at her side, looked up, and swerved to avoid something very large, with six legs, covered in plants, sporting several horns, and glowing with a peaceful magical light. She took a second to catch her breath then poked at the communicator with one hand.

"Uh, hey Wildcat," Scorpia said. Catra stole a glance down at the screen. It was good to see Scorpia's face again. If she wasn't completely in love with Adora, and hadn't been such a mess, who knows what could have happened. Well, probably the same thing that did happen. She was not in a good place back in the Fright Zone. She hadn't been a very good person.

She'd been staring too long. She was gonna make it weird. Catra put on her best I'm-too-cool-to-care voice. "Hey, Scropia," she said. Then she dialed it back a little, because actually she _wasn't_ too cool to care and Perfuma had said it would be good to show people that. "What's up? I'm almost there, give me another fifteen minutes!"

"Yeah, um, so... I kind of... I can't make it today," Scorpia said. "You know what with all the work happening in the Fright Zone--you know I'm trying to get people to call it the Hug Zone now, did I tell you that? It's not working very well--well, I just... couldn't. Make it. I can't make it. Today."

It took a moment for the words to sink in. "Oh." Catra pulled back on the throttle until the skiff stopped. _I don't need you anymore._

__

___"_ Stop it, stop it," Catra whispered to herself. "This isn't like that."

"What?" Scorpia said.

"Nothing! Nothing. Just, you know... disappointed."

"Oooh, I knew you would be," Scorpia said. "Are you going to be okay? You don't hate me, right? I'll give you an extra big hug next time I see you, okay?"

"Yeah. Of course it's okay," Catra made herself say. "What about next week?"

"Next week is good," Scorpia said.

Next week wasn't good. Scorpia cancelled again, and again. And each time it got harder for Catra to not listen to what her brain was telling her.

Later, in the middle of the night, Catra lay awake, trying to calm down after another nightmare. Adora was up with her, gently stroking Catra's hair. "Hey. I know something's wrong. Want to tell me about it?"

"No," Catra said.

"Should you tell me about it?"

"Probably," Catra said, but she still didn't say it.

Adora sighed, and kissed Catra's forehead. "Well, if you won't talk to me about it, you should talk to someone. Don't just keep it bottled up until you can't take it anymore and try to portal the whole planet into oblivion."

Catra groaned and roll over. "I _said_ I was _sorry_..."

* * *

Adora was right. Catra did need to talk to someone. She hated awkward conversations, she hated having feelings, she hated awkward conversations _about_ her feelings... but the only person who could tell her what was up was Scorpia. So here she was, on her skiff, flying through the Hug Zone.

It looks so different already that sometimes Catra barely recognized it. Plants were growing again thanks to Perfuma. They were the hardiest plants Perfuma could find--ivy, cacti, grasses. Even some flowers. It all added color and life that this place hadn't known in a long time.

And yet, sometimes, when she turned a corner and saw some familiar green building that hadn't been demolished or repurposed yet, she felt like she was back in the Fright Zone again. The good--her life with Adora. The bad--life with Shadoweaver, and then later, life with herself.

___You don't have to be that Catra anymore._ That's what Perfuma always said to her. She could say _you're not that Catra_ , or _that wasn't the real you_ , but she never did. Sometimes--a lot of times--Catra wished she would.

Scorpia had taken up residence in Horror Hall--Catra wasn't sure if it had been renamed to Hug Hall yet, since Scorpia _wasn't talking to her_ \--but according to Adora refused to have it rebuilt before the rest of the Hug Zone was brought back to life. Catra hadn't actually seen it for herself. She hadn't wanted to come back here. Not yet. She still felt too raw and vulnerable in her new life.

But here she was.

And there was Scorpia, pacing back and forth in the Hall in front of a desk covered with monitors and communicators. A dresser in one corner, a typical Horde soldier bed next to it. And all around, lots of plants in variously sized pots.

Scorpia was talking to herself. "Dear ex-soldiers of the Horde... is that too impersonal? Dear Children of the Horde, together we have worked hard to rebuild--no, no, we're not rebuilding, we're building--to _build_ a home for ourselves in the ruins of the old. Is that too depressing? Maybe I shouldn't say ruins. Even though they are ruins. But not like, _ruins_ ruins, not like First Ones ruins..."

"Scorpia," Catra said.

" _Ahh!_ " Scorpia started and the notes she'd been tenuously holding between her pincers flew up into the air. Lightning crackled over her carapace. "Oh. Oh! Hey, Catra! Um. Hi!"

"I came to visit you," Catra said.

"Oh. Great! That's... great!" Then Scorpia strode over to Catra and hugged her tightly. "Hi Wildcat."

"Hey," Catra managed to wheeze.

Finally Scorpia let her down. "So, you look good. You're growing your hair out again."

"You're not busy, are you?" Catra asked. Well, maybe demanded. A little bit.

"What? No, of course not! Well, a little. I'm, ah, practicing for a speech I have to give. Did you know you have to do that as a Princess? I did _not_ know and I really wish someone had warned me because I do not like it."

"It's just... you've been too busy for the last couple of weeks. And it's sort of starting to feel like you're avoiding me."

"What? No! No no no no. No. Definitely not. I would never avoid you, Catra." Scorpia clicked her pincers nervously. She wouldn't meet Catra's eyes. "I mean, except that one time I avoided you because you were going to make me take Emily apart. And then technically the whole time I was in Brightmoon, since I'd left my communicator behind. But this isn't like that!"

"Then what is it like?" Catra could feel a little bit of Force Captain Catra creeping back into her voice. Scorpia flinched. She tried to walk it back. "I just mean, is something else going on? Did I do something wrong? I just..." Catra's tail flicked back and forth sharply. "You know I have that whole issue with--" She sighed and waved her hand. "You know."

"Abandonment?"

"Yes. That," Catra growled. "I just need to know that nothing's wrong. That you aren't mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Wildcat," Scorpia said softly. "I can't stay mad at you. I love you, in a friend way! You know that." She met Catra's eyes, then looked away. The silence after was heavy with the words she wouldn't say.

"But there is something wrong," Catra said.

"Not... _wrong..._ just um, a little challenging? Yes, challenging. I'm good at challenges! Sometimes. I'm good at challenges I can hug through, and this is one of them." 

Scorpia reached out for another hug, but Catra jumped away, landing on all fours. "You can't just hug out of telling me what's wrong!"

"I can try," Scorpia said.

"Seriously, not knowing is going to be way worse than whatever you tell me. Please."

"You... promise not to take it badly?"

"I promise," Catra said, and she really, really meant it. Which, unfortunately, isn't always enough.

"Okay. I'll just say it. Here goes. I'm going to tell you." Scorpia clacked the tips of her pincers together and shifted unsteadily. "But you _promise_ not to get mad?"

"Just tell me already!" Catra snapped.

Scorpia flinched. "I'm scared of you, Wildcat," she said quietly. "I don't mean to blow you off--I want to see you--but then when it's time to go I get this, like, tight feeling in my chest and it gets bigger and bigger and then I cancel and I'm so relieved."

Catra felt like she couldn't breathe. She stared at her friend--at the best friend she'd ever had except for Adora--and it felt like she'd just gotten punched in the gut. She hated this feeling. She hated all of this. She wasn't _good_ at this and Adora and Perfuma and _all of them_ kept _making her do it._

Something in her snapped.

"That's not fair!" she yelled. "I've been good ever since Horde Prime's ship! I've fought and I've helped rebuild and I even said I was sorry! Am I just supposed to keep apologizing over and over again? When is it going to be enough, Scropia?"

"You promised you wouldn't get mad," Scorpia said. She was breathing quickly and had one pincer against her chest. "See? It's happening again. You're being a bad friend and it really hurts."

"Well maybe that's the only kind of friend I can be!" Catra screamed. There were tears in her eyes and she wiped at them furiously.

"Okay. Breathe. Breathe," Scorpia said. Her breath shook. "Perfuma... Perfuma says that I don't have to take it if you act like this. That I can leave. So... I'm just going to leave until you calm down." She took several steps toward the entryway. "Actually, you know what, Catra? This is my ancestral home. I think you're the one who should leave."

"Fine. I will," Catra said. "There's nothing here for me anyway."

She walked out slowly and deliberately and it wasn't until she was sure that she was out of sight of the entrance that she ran for the nearest building and found a corner where she could scream and sob and scratch scars into the walls.

* * *

There was a knock on the door. "Catra?" Adora called. "I know you're in there. Are you destroying the good pillows? You know Glimmer said she's not getting us new ones if you tear these up again."

"I'm not, shut up," Catra said. She swiped some pillow fluff off her face. She was back in their room in Brightmoon. Somehow she'd managed to make it back in one piece, no matter how much she'd wanted to fight a magical monstrosity just to have something to fight. And maybe get eaten by.

Nearby, Melog had a blanket in their mouth. They thrashed their head back and forth, sending feathers into the air. They knew how to be supportive, at least.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! Why do you always think you know when something's wrong?"

"Well, one, I know you. We've been friends forever. And two, you left a long scratch on the wall from the entry way all the way to our room. In the stone. Seriously, how are those things so sharp?"

"I sharpen them on First One's ruins nobody's paying attention to," Catra whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Catra said.

"Do you want to let me in?"

"No," Catra said.

"Okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. You'll just make that I'm-disappointed-but-I-love-you face you make. I can't deal with that face right now."

"I won't."

"You will. You always do."

"I don't mean to."

Catra sniffed. She could feel her mouth trying to twitch into a smile. Traitor. "I know you don't. And I'll tell you about it later and I'll deal with the face then but... I have to try to fix this first."

"All right. Just... remember you don't have to fix it alone. You can ask for help."

"I know. I will," Catra said. "Hey, Adora?"

"What's up?"

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," Adora said. "I'll give you some time. Call me if you need anything."

Catra could hear Adora walking away, but she could still smell her, and she could still hear her. _I love you too_. Catra didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that, and it gave her strength. 

She found her communicator among the ruined pillows and called Perfuma. It was at least half a minute before Perfuma picked up.

"Hi, Catra," Perfuma said, though without the usual joy in her voice.

"I messed up with Scorpia," Catra said. "Real bad."

Perfuma sighed and rubbed her head temples, eyes scrunched shut. "I know. I heard from Scorpia. I want to help you--you know I do--but I'm sort of in the middle of something right now."

Catra's heart sank. "Is that something Scorpia?"

"I... don't think I should say," Perfuma said. "Patient-Princess confidentiality."

"That's not a thing. You just made that up," Catra said.

"So? Just because I made it up doesn't mean it's not a thing now. It's a thing. And to protect it I think I have to focus on helping Sco--doing that thing I was doing. Right now."

"Is she real mad at me?"

Perfuma shook her head sadly. "Catra... you know her. She doesn't get mad. She just gets hurt."

It turned out Catra's heart could sink even lower. Down to her feet, through the floor, all the way to the disabled Heart of Etheria.

"I have to go," Perfuma said. "We'll talk later. I promise." Then the communicator went dead.

The last of the pillows and a couch died to Catra's First-Ones-honed claws. Then she sat down again and called Adora.

"Don't look at me like that," Catra said. "All hopeful and worried. Just find Bow and send him in here. If... if he can, I mean. If he wants to. Please."

"He'll want to," Adora said. And that was the amazing thing about Adora and her friends-- _my friends_ , Catra corrected herself automatically--they really did come when you needed them.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Catra? It's Bow," Bow said.

"Come in," Catra said.

"It's locked."

"Oh. Right." Catra got up and unlocked the door. She locked it again as soon as Bow was inside.

"Soooo... let me guess. A rogue Horde bot, programmed to seek and destroy pillows, broke into your room and you had to fight it off?"

"Very funny," Catra growled.

"I'm just saying, Glimmer will understand if it was a rogue bot. No one can blame you for a rogue bot attack."

"She definitely will," Catra said.

"Not if I make this face at her--" Bow's forehead furrowed and he smiled a sad, concerned smile. "--and say please."

Catra sighed. "Why bother. I'm just going to do this again. She's right, I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things. I should just go back to sleeping on a Horde mattress like Scorpia."

"Well, that wouldn't really be fair for Adora, so..."

Catra hissed at him and threw a handful of feathers. Bow dodged out of the way, laughing.

Bow sighed and looked around for a place to sit. Failing to find one, he cleared a small circle in the fluff and feather with his foot and sat down crosslegged. "So maybe you'll scratch them up again, but that's for later," he said. "But at least you don't have to worry about messing this one thing up now. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks. I guess," Catra said. She didn't know why she did that. Why showing gratitude was so hard. Maybe... after everything that had happened... it was still hard to feel like she was dependent on someone. It had gone so badly before. But then again, being dependent on no one had gone even worse. Ugh, it was all a mess. She needed to focus on something specific, something she could maybe actually fix.

Bow was watching her, smiling and waiting for her to speak. Sometimes she had to fight the urge to resent him. He'd had kind, loving parents and had turned him into a person for whom love and kindness came easily. The only love that had ever come easily to her was for Adora... and that had nearly blown up the planet, once.

But right now, she needed Bow exactly as he was, and she was glad he was here.

"So... Scorpia's been blowing me off," Catra said. She looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I went to confront her. And then... I kind of blew up at her. You know. The way I do."

"We _all_ know the way you do," Bow said, rolling his eyes. He flinched. "Sorry. That was mean."

"I probably deserve it," Catra said. She kind of liked it when he got snarky. It made him a little less perfect, and a lot more likable.

"Okay, so, tell me everything," Bow said. "Don't leave anything out."

Catra flopped back onto the floor and stared up at the ceiling. Some fluff had flown up into the air and she batted at it mindlessly. "All right. Here goes."

She told him everything. And when she'd finished, she lay there in silence, waiting for him to say something. To tell her it was going to be okay, or that all she had to do was talk to Scopria, or even that this wasn't her fault.

"You know," Bow said, "sometimes when you come around a corner suddenly, or I see you out of the corner of my eye, I still reach for my bow. Just a twitch of my arm, but... it's there."

Catra sat up. There were tears in her eyes, but she fought them back. "So, what, you're on her side? No matter what I do you'll always be afraid of me?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Bow said. "No one doubts that you've changed. I know I don't. You're part of the best friend squad! But we fought each other for a long time, and you were scary, Catra. That doesn't just go away overnight. You have to wear away at it, slowly, bit by bit, just by being your new self."

"So I do have to keep apologizing over and over, is that it?"

"No one's doing this to hurt you, Catra," Bow said.

Catra looked away. "Yeah. I guess. But it still hurts."

"I know it does," Bow said. "And I'm sorry about that. Look at it this way--that hurt you feel, that's you growing. And growing can hurt, a lot, but you get through it. This is a good hurt."

"Doesn't feel good," Catra said. She finally looked up at him. "I hate apologizing. I hate it. Hordak doesn't have to apologize constantly!"

Bow made a face like he'd eaten something sour. "That's because Hordak doesn't care what anyone thinks of him except Entrapta. And Entrapta... has a way of not worrying about the past. Not everyone can let go as easily."

Catra waved her hand in the air. A feather had gotten stuck on one of her claws. "Yeah, the past does tend to... stick. So what do I do? Call her up? Apologize again?"

"That's a start. And don't yell it this time. Apologies don't really count if you're yelling them at the person. But... I think the real answer is to stop fighting against your own hurt, and instead, start caring about the hurt you caused others. An apology isn't the solution to a problem. It's just the beginning of one."

* * *

It was like her dreams. The ones where Adora was always leaving her behind. Every time she had one, Adora would say she was sorry--sometimes in words, sometimes in the little things she did. Finding little ways to reassure her that this time she was staying for good.

It wasn't Adora's fault Catra had the dreams. It wasn't even--and it had taken Catra a long time to accept this--Adora's fault that she'd abandoned Catra. She'd tried to get Catra to come over to the Rebellion with her, but Catra had curled up around her pain, put up her fur, and struck out.

The same as she'd done with Scorpia.

But at least now it wouldn't take losing everything she had--even herself--for her to start making it right. She'd been alone, before. Now she had people like Bow who knew about friendship to help her.

She had a plan. It was, maybe, a little bit ridiculous. But she was going to try it anyway, because she loved Scorpia, and Scorpia deserved her best. She'd made Scorpia a gift. It was tucked into her pocket, and she patted it--like she had a hundred times already--to make sure it was still there.

Catra was back in the Hug Zone, navigating her skiff between wreckage, poison, newly-sprouted plants, and old buildings repurposed for peace instead of war.

"This is me," Catra whispered to herself. She'd changed, but it hadn't all gone away. Everything she was still lived in her. She just had to find a way to rebuild and reuse and clean it up enough for something new to grow.

Sometimes the Hug Zone looked like a new place, alive with hope. And sometimes it looked like the Fright Zone again, like nothing had really changed. It was going to take time for all of it to change, and it would always carry scars. But Catra had time. She had time, and friends, and Adora by her side.

Maybe nobody who remembered would ever call it the Hug Zone. But Scorpia would, right now that was all that mattered.

Catra snorted. "Now I sound like Perfuma," she said, her voice oozing sarcasm. But she smiled anyway. She'd have to remember this thought to tell Perfuma later, in one of their sessions. If they were still going to have sessions. She patted her pocket again. Still there.

She parked the skiff a little way off from Horror Hall and walked the rest of the way. By the time she'd reached the entrance, her chest felt tight and her breathing came in quick, shallow bursts. She wanted to scratch something, but then Scorpia would hear, and the last thing she wanted was for Scorpia to think she was angry again.

Catra wasn't angry. She was scared.

She leaned against the wall and tried to slow her breathing. She'd done so many things in her life that should have been terrifying and laughed off the fear. Maybe even fed on it. But that was the old Catra. The Catra who didn't know what she had to live for anymore.

Now she knew, and she was terrified of losing it. Of driving people she loved away.

This must be what Scorpia felt like every time she got ready to meet Catra at the coffee shop. Catra hated it. She'd do almost anything to make this feeling go away. No wonder Scorpia had canceled.

"When I get back, I'm finding more pillows to tear up," Catra promised herself. "Or maybe a nice divan. Or some curtains."

And that was enough to get her moving. She turned the corner and walked through the door. "Hey, Scorpia?" A question, for once. "I know you maybe don't want to see me right now, but I, ah, came to apologize. If that's okay? It's okay if it's not okay." It definitely wasn't, but she'd deal with that problem later, at home. Glimmer was going to be furious.

"Catra!" Scorpia turned around, note cards flying everywhere, and the smile on her face was so big and bright Catra almost couldn't bear it. "If I knew you were coming, I would have... well, I would have done something nice!"

"You don't have to do anything nice for me," Catra said. "I'm trying to do something nice for you. I really messed up, and I'm sorry."

"Oh, that's okay! I don't mind," Scorpia said. "I mean, there was a little bit of yelling, and we both said some thing, and Bow said you went on a scratching spree? But now you're here and it's okay because we're going to make up and it'll be like it never happened! Right?"

Catra shook her head.

Scorpia's face sank. "Not right?"

"I don't want to pretend it didn't happen. I was terrible to you. The other day, and... before, when we were with the Horde. I'm trying to do better. I'm going to try even harder."

Scorpia's eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, you are just the _best_ ," and she ran up to her, arms wide for a hug. But then Scropia stopped. "Is... is a hug okay? Because I would really like a hug right now, but it's okay if you don't want one."

Even now, after all this, Scorpia was thinking about what Catra. This is what she always did. She thought about others before herself.

Catra had been going about this all wrong. She'd thought a gift, a good intention, a _gesture,_ could fix things... but that wasn't what Scorpia needed from her.

"Okay. I'm not good at saying stuff like this, but... I love your hugs. I have since the very first one. I'm just not always great at showing it."

The thing about Scorpia's hugs was that they weren't actually very soft. She had a lot of carapace. And those pincers had spikes on them. If anything, the hugs--objectively speaking--were hard and pointy and painful.

But Scorpia still managed to make them great.

The hug was over too soon, though maybe not soon enough according to Catra's lungs. But there would be more hugs. And she still had to set things right.

"Look," Catra said. "I, uh... I brought you something. As kind of a promise I wouldn't do this again. But I think... maybe... you don't need me to decide what you need for you. So I'm just going to listen, okay? Tell me what I can do to help you feel less scared of me."

Scorpia flinched. "I am _really_ sorry I said that. I didn't mean it to come out like that. I--"

"It's okay," Catra said. "I get it. I'm scared of me, too, sometimes. I'm trying to do better, but I don't always get it right. If that means you don't want to see me for a while, I... can live with that."

"No! No, I don't want that at all," Scorpia said. "Really, I don't. It just... it sneaks up on me."

"Yeah, it's pretty sneaky," Catra said.

Scorpia gasped. "Sneaky! You're sneaky, too!"

"I... yes?"

"If you sneak up on me, then the bad feelings can't!"

"You... want me to sneak up on you. So you can't get nervous about meeting up with me."

"Exactly," Scorpia said.

"Won't... won't you just be nervous all the time, then?"

"Oh. Hm. I didn't think of that. Maybe it would wear itself out? I'm not nervous now. Not that nervous. Mostly I'm just glad you're here. I miss you. I love everyone, but sometimes... I still think back to when it was just you and me."

"I know," Catra said. "Things were bad, but... you were good. Even if I couldn't--wouldn't--see it at the time."

There was another hug. Catra was sure this one was going to leave bruises.

"I think maybe I know what would help," Scorpia said, still mid-hug.

Catra made a vaguely questioning noise. Scorpia got the idea.

"There were bad things about the two of us together back then. So maybe... maybe we don't try to get that back right away? Maybe if Perfuma or Adora was there when we met up I wouldn't get so nervous. Sorry, that's not fair to you, it's a bad idea."

"Ihhh--" Catra managed to say.

"Oh, sorry." Scorpia set her down again.

"It's fair to you," Catra said. "Whatever you need, whatever will help, I'll do."

"Thanks, Wildcat," Scorpia said. "You're the best."

"I'm definitely not," Catra said. "But I'm trying."

* * *

"Hey, so what was it you were going to give me?" Scorpia asked. They were sitting at a table, waiting for their drinks. Perfuma was waiting at the counter--not quite supervising, but not quite out of earshot either.

"Oh, nothing. It's stupid," Catra said.

"I bet it's great," Scopria said. "Come on, tell me what it is!"

"I don't even know where it is now," Catra said. She patted her pocket. It was still in there. She was still carrying it around as a reminder.

Scorpia leaned forward across the table. "You have it with you right now, don't you?"

"No. Why would I have it with me? That's stupid."

"Yeah, you definitely do. Princess intuition."

"That's not a thing!"

"If it's not a thing then why am I right?" Scorpia asked.

Catra glared at her. "Fine. Here. But you're not allowed to laugh at me." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a thin card. She dropped it onto the table. It landed with a soft _thunk_.

It was a thin card, firm but bendable, made out of First One's plating. She'd spent forever sanding down the sides. Scratched a picture of herself and Scorpia in it, along with the words "Stop and Listen". 

Grinning widely Scorpia picked it up and turned it over. On the back were the words "Free Hug". 

"I. Love. This," Scorpia said. "What is it?"

Catra groaned. "I told you it's stupid."

"It's not," Scorpia said. "You obviously put a bunch of work in it and it's really touching. Is this First One's plating? How did you manage to get the edges so smooth?"

"You have to sand it with other First One's stuff," Catra said. "Bow showed me how." She sighed. "Okay, so... the _stop and listen_ side is for when I'm getting angry or yelling. You give it to me and I have to... stop and listen to whatever you're saying. I mean, I know I promised to do that last time, but this is supposed to help remind me to actually do it."

Scorpia's smile widened. "That. Is. _So_ smart. And this side?"

"That's just for when you want a hug. You don't... you don't actually need to show me the card. You can just get free hugs whenever."

"I don't have to, but now I will," Scorpia said. Her voice softened. "Thank you, Catra. This is really nice. I can keep it, right?"

"Yeah. Of course," Catra said. "I made it for you."

"Profula! Drinks up for Profula!" one of the coffeesmiths behind the counter called out. A minute later Perfuma set the drinks down on the table.

"They got my name wrong," Perfuma said. "How do they always get my name wrong? I _only_ helped defeat _two different Hordes._ " She took a deep breath. "It's fine. I'm fine. It would be petty of me to get angry over something so trivial."

"If you want I can scratch up their table real bad," Catra said.

"That won't be necessary," Perfuma said. "But thank you."

They wait for their coffee to cool. And then, finally, Catra got what she'd wanted all along: to see Scorpia try the new coffee drink with all the cream in it.

"Wow, this is... actually good!" Scorpia said. "Usually this stuff tastes like how the Fright Zone smelled, but this is actually good!"

"I knew you'd like it," Catra said. "Or, I guess I hoped you would. It just... it made me think of you, somehow. And I wanted to be there when you tried it."

Scorpia sniffed. "You know... if I could have seen us like this back when we first met... I don't know if I could have believed it. This is just so perfect. Thanks for being a good friend, Wildcat."

"Thanks for always being you," Catra said.

"Well, except for that time I got chipped and I _wasn't_ me," Scorpia said.

"Chipping doesn't count," Catra said.

"Hey, Catra?" Scorpia said.

"Yeah?"

Scorpia pointed at her present. "I'd like my Free Hug now, please."

For so long, Catra had only cared about--only wanted--Adora. But that wasn't enough anymore. Would never have been enough, even though she loved Adora more than anyone or anything. She wanted this. Friends. Family. Becoming a better person, even if it wasn't always easy.

It hurt getting there. It would definitely hurt again at some point. But the hugs were worth it.


End file.
